“Ah yes, the elephants; we must deal with the elephants,” [Mad Hatter voice (played by Ed Wynn, 1951)]. The proverbial elephants in the room, that is, not those hellbent on ruining the asses’ party in the political arena. So, as you already know, I have missed my deadline; I wanted this to be out by the presidential debate 2020, on September 29th. The comic itself was completed far before the date, and I had no idea that the script was going to be the debate word for word. I’m not sure if the Clinton Foundation and the DNC bribed and/or coerced the Obama/Biden administration to hack my website, or if Trump colluded with the Russians to do it, but, either way, I am not mad they stole the script of my comic and used it in the debate, for such is the nature of the Blonde Beast and tyrants. I’m being facetious, of course, something I would never be without spellcheck (who also struggled with the word), but this comic and epilogue was honestly not much influenced by it. As a matter of fact, while I found the debate absolutely delightful, it left me only one pertinent thought, but, before I deliberate on said thought, I need to know something: Does anybody know where I can get some reasonably priced guillotines at? Now, on to the cliff notes.
Epilogate:
This epilogue explains the moral within the story of Operation: Snowed-In, the fourth edition of The Undisputed Champion for Liberty, as the plot of the actual content is simply Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, and Joe Biden (with assistance from G.W. Bush and eventually Donald Trump) going to Russia to kidnap Edward Snowden and bring him to justice. However, it is really a set-up for humorous dialogue pertaining to scandals leading up to the Presidential race of 2020 utilizing (per usual) traditional superhero motif: supervillains forming an alliance to accomplish an objective, and how justice prevails.
In the opening sequence, we see Obama’s superpowers are an army of drones because he is famous for drone attacks overseas. Clinton displays her superpowers by revealing horns, bat-like wings, and Satyr body with cloven hoofs as an allusion to demonic or evil-type powers, for which she is famous for. They jump out of the plane and Biden is revealed for the first-time riding Obama’s coat tail, which is his superpower, for which he is famous for. They land outside Snowden’s house, where we find them peeking into the windows. Edward Snowden is a famous whistleblower who leaked government surveillance information to the public as he felt compelled morally. The LibertyReport has had him on the show and Dr. Paul brought him up quite a bit as Democrats vehemently protected their whistleblower who stumbled onto Trump’s “perfect conversation” with Volodymyr Zelensky, in which Trump told him to take care of the corruption in Ukraine and was impeached for it—more on that later. Suffice to say at this point in the story, none of this villainous super-group is a fan of Snowden (at least Trump is consistent with his persecution of whistleblowers). That’s why Snowden is in his Russian home, out of the snow and cold, and listening to “Blow the Whistle” by Too $hort and easily apprehended by the gang. However, they had no idea he was entertaining a house guest: Vladimir Putin!
Putin is not so easily defeated—crushing an O-drone with his hammer and easily fending off Hillary’s claws with the freshly sharpened sickle (hammer and sickle is the symbol of communism). He then becomes quite polite, offering them vodka and room & board for the night. However, the evil supervillains did not even have a chance to respond to the gesture when there is music heard in the background and Trump and First Lady Melania burst through the wall singing the “Star-Spangled Banner” (the national anthem) dressed like Uncle Sam on top of a tank holding a tech-9 and a revolver in his waistline. Melania is packing a Kalashnikov rifle (AK47), an allusion to her Russian heritage, but the point is, an attempt at the most ‘Merica superpower I could think of and figured what better than some BA looking guns. Trump jumps off the tank and it becomes obvious him and Putin have a personal relationship. After Trump’s explanation of how freedom works, Putin comments that he doesn’t understand freedom, but the irony is no one understands this explanation of freedom. More importantly, he states he didn’t make Trump president to have him come violate him, and we enter into the first scandal of debate: Russiagate!
Russiagate:
There are media politicos, politicians (such as Hillary Clinton, which is why she immediately shouts it out in story), and many a voter who believe that Russia can pick the President of the United States. For those of you who just do not follow any political news whatsoever, there has been this huge story involving the Trump presidential campaign collusion with Russia to win the presidency. A lot of media pundits still perpetrate this lie even after the case was closed. My liberal family and friends kind enough to talk to me, will ask, “Why won’t they release the whole report?” Their line of argument is that somebody is letting Trump get away with this; that’s why it is secret. However, now, with the DNC and Clinton Foundation under investigation, we may be seeing they were right about them trying to protect people, just wrong about whom.
I have asked my liberal friends and family how this process works (the ability that Russia has to pick a U.S. president, to which they reply, “Well, you don’t want Russia interfering with our democratic process do you?” totally ignoring the question, for which Democrats are famous for; to which I respond, “What are you even talking about?!” Secretly though, I can totally understand why average Americans would hear “foreign election interference” and immediately think coup d’état, assassinations, regulating media, etc., for America is famous for meddling in other countries’ elections these ways—or even just declaring a new a president (in Venezuela, for instance). Why don’t people/groups from Russia get to have an opinion on an American election? It doesn’t make any sense. Are these people saying that they cannot have an opinion or utilize means spreading said opinion? It is baffling. Not to mention, no one can prove this happened.
This is when Biden chimes in and offers to leave without Snowden if Putin makes him president. When Trump calls him out on it, Biden gets hostile and threatens to take him outside, for which he is famous for. When Obama tries to control the situation, Biden snaps at him calling him “Corn Pop,” an allusion to the bizarre story he told about a “bad dude” in his neighborhood, or something. This is when he brings up the subject of guns: an allusion to the video where he was touring some kind of industrial plant, and, when asked about his gun control policies, became irate and started hollering things that did not make any sense (for which he is famous for) talking about AR-14s, 100 round magazines, and a bunch of other nonsense that shows ignorance to guns (and gun laws, really) and how they work, and proceeds to threaten this guy. I made the conversation appear out of nowhere to make him look even more wild, and Trump accuses him of forgetting his supervillain costume (subtle inference to his cognitive capacities).
However, they become more at ease upon discovery that Putin can no longer make U.S. Presidents because Facebook took down his “pussycat” page. I spent a significant amount of time looking for articles concerning this matter, and the RonPaulLibertyReport devoted an entire episode to laughing at this, but, alas, it was not found (I will continue the search). Anyway, the story was that Facebook pages by Russian bots, or somehow linked to Russia, had minimal followers, and one of the biggest pages taken down for Russian involvement was a page containing photos of kittens (pussy cats). This is when Biden says, “I knew it, you had the Russians grab America by the pussy didn’t you?” for Trump is famous for this line and brings us to our next scandal.
Pussygate:
The “locker room talk” scandal unraveled by a secret recording, and the public at large found out about “rape culture”. Judging by social media posts and such at this time, women had no idea men talked like this and denied this ever taking place in the proverbial women’s locker room, for which women are famous for. The chatter of the rabble was heard everywhere: “This disgusting pig is not fit to be our leader—participating in locker room talk.” This spurred many feminist movements (march on Washington, biggest one in history). The #MeToo movement started, and, suddenly, all the victims were turning everyone over to the media and/or authorities. Things got a little intense, and media outlets and a wide variety of politicos were telling us all that women would not lie because of the shame and embarrassment of being open about it, and, therefore, should be believed under any and all circumstances. Not to get off the subject, but let’s talk about “white privilege” for just a moment: now, I have come to terms with this term (which I will not elaborate on here), but this is a strange turn of phrase (to say the least). However, it carries with it, the subject of systemic racism. Which, last I checked was part of the Democratic agenda to fight (we can never know, of course, because of people like Biden who says he is not in support of the Green New Deal, yet Kamala Harris is his VP pick, and it says right on his website (he has hopefully he changed it now)). If someone is taking advantage of their white privilege, this is, in turn, supporting a systemically racist institution, is it not? (Not sarcasm, I am a libertarian, and I am unfamiliar with these arguments, but it seems to be the situation: whites can do things Blacks can’t.) It seems pertinent that we analyze the sociopolitical environment in order to determine whether certain people are taking advantage of their whiteness, and, thus, perpetuating the cycle of systemic racism because Democrats, surely, need to be informed about such matters to know in which way they should vote to put an end to racism, for which they are famous for.
Christine Blasey Ford alleged some kind of rape against Justice Brett Kavanaugh to one person, and, the next thing you know, she’s testifying in front of congress with no eyewitnesses, no evidence, no one with any prior knowledge, zip, zero, nada. Meanwhile, R. Kelly’s sex slaves have eyewitnesses, documentation, corpus delecti, and people are literally selling his personal child pornography videos everywhere, and no one cares. I mean, they got at least 2 seasons of testimonies with his sexslavecapades. Is this “white privilege?” When Joe Biden allegedly finger rapes a woman (Tara Reade), and she gets absolutely nowhere in the rape culture formerly known as justice; meanwhile alleged finger rapist Jacob Blake gets shot down in the street—is this white privilege? Or, perhaps it’s because these women did not know that laughter came from the hippocampus, which seared the traumatic experience into Ford’s mind, which was turned into a snippet played infinitely on every channel for the next month searing it into America’s psyche (which, according to “critical race theory” knowing what a “hippocampus” even is, is racist)? Now, it happens that Kavanaugh is white, and Blake received a phone call from former Vice President and presidential candidate and fellow alleged finger raper (ironically?) with his deepest sympathies; however, dearest democratic constituents, are we to shun these women? And, what if, during the next debate, the moderator asked Biden about the scandal, and he was like, “My mind was telling me no, but my body, my BOOOOODY, was telling me ya-ah-ae-aaaaaaa…”
Democracygate:
President Trump says, “all in favor say ‘I’,” and the “I’s” have it. This segment here is based on the age-old, tried, and true, aphoristic refutation of democracy: “If 10 people are voting to finger rape you, and 6 people vote yes, get your hippocampus ready.” I mean, it doesn’t go like that exactly, but you can easily see what I mean. Now, one may think, that’s a stretch, from voting to sexually assault someone, to going overseas into another country and forcing them to comply with a democracy that America instills, is also a little far-fetched. Oh, wait, no, that’s what we do in real life. But people need democracy, we need to control the oil trade, it’s a win/win. Then, they shoot off into the sky, in symbolic bipartisanship, for which they are famous for. Sure, they argue about small things, but when it comes to increasing the budget, spending money, bombing other countries—it zips through the house and senate with >90% approval faster than a speeding bullet. I’m not being critical; this means jobs for Americans! How would Americans ever get a job if we didn’t demolish other countries, give them money and IMF loans so they comply with our standards of a healthy society (which they could never do because we put sanctions on trade and kill their countrymen), then hire groups to influence elections and government because these people don’t know how to vote correctly, and give them weapons because they can’t afford them, which they turn around and use on us, then start the whole process over again? Honestly, if we didn’t do that, our economy would be devastated.
The point of the essay is to show the reader how audacious these “scandals” seem to me. So, go head, vote for the Queen of Hearts or the Mad Hatter, but I’m going with Alice. Probably because I relate to being the only one with any sense and the whole world thinks I’m crazy. Well, maybe I am, but I’m just trying to get the hell out of the rabbit hole.
But don’t worry, there is a happy ending… to be continued…