Hail! Queen Whitmer, pt. 2: Long Live the Queen!
Once upon a time in a land called Michigan, there was a sweet little tart that was elected for governor. She only wanted to “fix the damn roads!” Michiganders (her favorite word) loved this, for Michigan is full of dromophiles and has notoriously bad roads (on account of the harsh winters). However, the world was overcome by a pestilent cold virus, and this sweet tart turned into the Wicked Witch of the Midwest. This corona cold virus dissolved the vile wretch’s pretty exterior and exposed the strings to the demonic puppeteer. She just jumped on the Democrat bandwagon of draconian law which was the same as Cuomo and Newsome and them; so, to be fair, she may just be a minion, zombie, or some other mindless creature doing the devil’s bidding, but I’m not going to split hairs about what ghoul is typified in this fiend’s evil doing. In fact, she has taught me so much about reality that my perspective has taken a drastic change, but more on that later—let us continue on with our story.
She took control of the government, changing law on a whim like a Queen. All her mandates were instituted under executive orders and, therefore, she, and only she, is responsible for her actions. This is not a critique of the despotic COVID travesty; as I have heard many apologists for this tyrant argue, “She was doing the best she could and no one else could’ve done better,” which may be accurate, but she kept executive emergency powers even after the Michigan Supreme Court told her she could not. This was accomplished mainly by bureaucratic rule from unelected officials who have the power to regulate institutions and not subject to jurisprudence, but we must digress from that and, as far as I’m concerned, they’re just doing the Queen’s bidding in the fashion described exactly like Thomas Paine described the Parliament’s relationship to the monarch. To the apologist excuse that “neither you nor I could have done better in that situation”, I can say honestly and with no hesitation, “Yes, I could have and would have.” However, I want to give apologists and Democrat COVID policy the benefit of the doubt and accept what they say as true; the problem is, it is uncertain if Queen Wretchen believes that the apologists are correct.
When the Queen shut down visitors to nursing facilities by executive order, there was a hospice clause written in. This clause was interpreted differently from place to place, but most interpreted it to mean that if the patient is actively dying, they will let limited family in for a limited time, followed by a limited amount at the funeral, of course. Again, interpreting a law that has never been through legislature, election process, reported on, or ruled on in court, white devil apologists may argue, isn’t the fault of the Queen, but I am going to push back on that point: Dictates from the monarch were exactly the catalyst that prompted the formation of this nation. Residents of the state would sit idle every morning, waiting to see if their job is worthy enough for the Queen’s blessed “essentials”; for only through divine power could one judge how important their work is to the community at large. Whatever the case, it wasn’t long before people started dying.
As a hospice nurse, I had to tell patients’ loved ones that they could not see (or only stay for an hour to say goodbye) them as they lay on their death bed. This was a heart-wrenching experience that gave me that pain one gets in the pit of their stomach. I would argue vehemently with the nursing facilities’ staff to make accommodations for the family to no avail. Sometimes they could sit by a window if it wasn’t too cold, sometimes I would have to hustle hard to get equipment, transportation, and pack up all the belongings from the nursing home to get them home, which of course a person that frail does not survive long after moving (that is not some underhanded slight about wasting resources, it is to explain the difficulty endured by people in their last days on Earth). I had to tell people over the phone that their loved one has passed and, if they’re lucky because there were restrictions on funeral gatherings, they could see them there. That was not even the hard part. The most difficult part was, there were people who understood. They knew we didn’t know how virulent the cold virus pandemic was, everyone was freaking out, and that 40% of all deaths were patients in nursing homes[1] (and forced in—sorry, last critique promise—I didn’t say anything about the inhumanity of holding one of, if not the, most vulnerable of the population imprisoned). Everyone was just scared; they knew this was unprecedented times. The facility staff whom I fought with would say with an expression of worry, “How’d they take it?” And, I’d say, “Fine, but it bothered me.” I am not a hospice nurse because I want people to die without their loved ones by their side. I did not sign up for hospice nursing so people could die without dignity. It hurt me, maybe not as much as it hurt the families, but it was a difficult time to say the least.
And who am I to judge? People wanted action from the government, I guess, and Queen Whitmer was doing the “best she could”; she had to make a lot of tough decisions to keep the people of Michigan safe. Fine. It was such a bizarre moment of history, and who am I to claim to have knowledge of her responsibilities? That would be like Queen Whitmer telling caregivers and families how to do their job. Which, I guess she did do that, but I am a man of sense (believe it or not). Whatever though: desperate times, desperate measures.
So, when I heard that she flew on a plane (which no one else could fly on a plane, but again we’re assuming she was doing her best) to see her grandfather on his death bed because “it might be the last time [she] ever got to see him” to Florida[2] (who didn’t have draconian Bolshevik lockdowns), one could feasibly understand how HOT I was. This elite white devil pig broke her own dictates because… because why? She had to do what was good for everyone ELSE, but did what was bad for her? She put the whole state and her family in danger for her selfish relationships with family? This is an atrocity. This is an abomination to the law, power, community, and even humanity. This is not Lightfoot and Pelosi at the hair salon, Cuomo at the gym, Newsome at dinners and traveling to Montana, or AOC in Florida, this is not even her husband boating—no, no. This is a thoughtless, soulless, pinnacle of hypocrisy, and heartless disregard for ethics. This is either a total elitest mindset (as in her edicts are only for us peasants), or this has nothing to do with politics. This is a sociopath devoid of the most basic compassion for humanity. If she is not completely sinister, then she is completely incompetent. If one does their “best” and fails miserably then one simply does not have what it takes for whatever reason.
Michigan and our dromophiles are a strange bunch; it can be semi-purple state at times. Michigander’s voting patterns seem to me like residue of the importance of unions for auto factories, which in hindsight had devastating results on the economy, and even though places like Detroit are lifting restrictions in the market and neighborhoods are coming alive again, they still vote Democrat. People still don’t have clean drinking water in Flint, but don’t worry, she’s fixing the damn roads[3] (Dominos has fixed more roads than the state over here).[4] Bragging about all the money she spent on the roads, while I’m stuck in traffic for two hours; only to get home and watch her ad: “We balanced the budget without raising taxes.” What? What budget? Our 33-million-dollar debt? Or…? What does that even mean? Then, she tells us we got the kids back in school, bragging. We may very well have got them back in school, but she, and only she, stopped schooling. I never thought I’d see the day when Democrats stopped pretending school was the most important thing to society. Then, the audacity to say she cares about women’s rights? People believed that? Serious question, did people actually believe this despot cares about women’s rights? With this puke’s track record, they believed she cared about rights. Anyway, Prop 3 was right on the ballot to authorize abortions, we didn’t have to vote her in for that!
And the Republicans were straight up outsmarted at every turn. Just bamboozled. The Democrat’s financial support for “election-denier” Republicans routine was a phenomenally stupid thing to do. Even Democrats and liberal pundits, questioned this tactic: It was dangerous and, at the least, controversial. And it worked. Trump was right about one thing: they really do have the dumbest voting bloc.[5] I see commercials from the government about getting your children, who barely have a chance of even catching the virus, let alone getting sick, need to be vaccinated. My own doctor gave me this “for the community” propaganda. This is who we wanted for governor.
It is mind-bottling (sic).[6] For the first time in my life, I was excited to vote: Since my proposal of Wretched Ghitmer being hung from the neck until respirations cease and no heart sounds heard over her chest for a period on no less than one minute upon auscultation, was shot down and not on the ballot, I figured the only justice I could get was voting Republican and have her lose the gubernatorial race. For the first time in my life, I was ecstatic to vote Republican (and not ashamed), and Dixon lost. They didn’t close down the polls and magically come back with votes, they didn’t take weeks to count, she was ahead the whole time. I fought with my friends and family; I was so upset that I could not even sleep. Being Republican was an unpleasant experience, I can see where the animosity in party politics comes from. No, I’m not some Mega MAGA whatever the charlatans are calling them, but I am definitely not in Trump’s corner now: Since he’s responsible for foiling the FBI’s plan to kidnap her.[7] Screw it, I’m going back to voting Libertarian, where no one cares or is threatened by me, losing elections are the norm, and my conscience is clear.
Despite my spite, I am grateful to Queen Whitmer. She has taught me so much about politics and human nature. People love being ruled over, they love bending the knee, kissing the ring, and being slithering slug. “Oh, please government, save us from ourselves, from freedom, I don’t want to be oppressed by liberty!” they cry, and you know what? I don’t blame them: Anyone who voted for this despicable mosquito, surely cannot trust themselves to make their own decisions. They are loathsome entitled creatures without autonomy; they want all the rewards without doing any of the work, they don’t understand sacrifice therefore they’ll never understand reward. Since their day of birth, they learned, with the slightest whimper, they can get big fat Pam Anderson breasts circa 1995 running down the beach, life-preserver in hand, scooped up against the bosom, and milk spraying everywhere as if they were being water-boarded. So, it’s no wonder why they would vote Wretch back into office—their lack of critical thinking is blatant when Dixon wore tighter-fitting apparel that she has those sleeper knocks. When they stop being breast fed at age 27, they are disgusted of the thought they need to sacrifice in order to live. These descendants of Cain, these rapacious, murderous, Blond Beasts, cannot accept the fact that their sacrifice was not enough, they cannot accept criticism, they are not their brothers’ keepers. They roam the Earth searching for those who are pure to sacrifice to satisfy their wrath. And you all just keep voting them into office.
I always thought people just didn’t know history and philosophy surrounding politics; I thought all I had to do was tell them the truth, show them their hypocrisy, and they would side with freedom. When faced with slavery, they would want freedom. No one believes the news; nor even watches it. How do these lies and media still have so much power of influence? I do not know. No one believes politicians, even if they do deny their pedophilia. Democrats blame Republicans, Republicans blame Democrats, and (guess what?) they’re both right. “Whataboutism”, an informal logical fallacy that became popular (as far as I can remember) with the Trump campaign. People latched onto it because they can dismiss the fact that their favorite politician acts, votes, and has the same views as the one you hate (e.g., Trumpers bringing up Obama, Clinton, etc. for the wall between Mexico and The U.S.). When is everyone going to realize that they’re the exact same people? They are narcissistic psychopaths, and we just keep voting them in. We must love our chains and our masters. There is no other explanation I can think of. If you’re woke, drink some coffee, and wake the hell up. Are oxen or horses not woke and still in a yoke? People just love being told exactly what they may and may not do. Government forbid (I’ve replaced “god” for “government” because, yes, petitioning the government to end your suffering is just as futile as prayer so these liberal nihilists can suck it) that anyone must face the most evil thing imaginable: responsibility and consequence— those words must be the most violent words around; more violent than a mistaken pronoun, even. So, this is my resignation letter, I’m voting Democrat from here on out; I think I’m going to love being stupid—hopefully, we can get some serious gun prohibition legislation passed before I blow my brains out: Hail, Queen Whitmer! Long live the Queen!
“HAIL, QUEEN WHITMER! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! HAIL, QUEEN WHITMER! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! HAIL, QUEEN WHITMER! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! HAIL, QUEEN WHITMER! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! HAIL, QUEEN WHITMER! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! HAIL, QUEEN WHITMER! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! HAIL, QUEEN WHITMER! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! HAIL, QUEEN WHITMER! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! HAIL, QUEEN WHITMER! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!”
[1] Reminder: this is the first UCL after hiatus, so remember this citation per usual: Do your own homework. (However, criticism Is encouraged and may be corrected,)
[2] Look it up. It happened.
[3] I know Snyder was the governor; whatever, that “nerd” can get mauled to death by mosquitoes too.
[4] Okay that is a stretch like her old classmates called her, but I don’t want to be petty. I just want to sound spiteful. (Domino’s Pizza paid for roads to be fixed is the reference here (private business, hiring private company).)
[5] See Trump on Oprah Show circa 1990
[6] See Blades of Glory (2006): “When things are so crazy, it gets your mind all trapped like in a bottle.” -Chazz Michael Michaels [played by Will Ferrell]
[7] At least two of the accused were acquitted on grounds of entrapment last time I checked.
Great ! A constant sustainable storyline with a sad finish…. I like it!
Nice! Many people don’t appreciate a good tragedy.