Page 1: Dr. Ron Paul is out shopping for vinyl records when he stumbles upon Brenton Wood’s Solid Gold Hits. He presumedly had never heard (or doesn’t recognize the name) of the singer but recognizes his name and associates it with the Bretton-Woods Agreement, where multiple nations, together with the U.S., agreed on their money attached to a fixed price of gold (hence “Solid Gold”). Dr. Paul, a relentless advocate for the gold (precious metal) standard of money1, thinks this is going to be “alright” and takes it home and plays it immediately. After asking his wife to dance (who is busy baking for the second edition of her cookbook), she notices the Liberty phone ringing (which apparently doesn’t ring often). Upon answering the phone, it is revealed that it is a distress call from Tom Woods, and he repeats the ad for his free eBook AOC is Wrong, which is a huge inspiration for this comic as I laughed every single time he said it: “Well folks, as you know Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been spreading some pretty terrible ideas and is wrong about nearly everything.” Par excellence.
Page 2: The line goes dead. Not knowing if they will receive any kind of help, they discuss possibilities on how to defeat AOC. They’re debating whether she could control the weather inside the realms of reason and logic, which have had seemingly no effect on her previously. However, AOC has grown tired of fighting, and decides to say a bunch of illogical things before setting off the Green New Deal (GND) bomb! Finally, she proclaims Paul Krugman to be the greatest economist to ever live (which is the person they argue with for the show, and for which they bear the name Contra Krugman).
Page 3: This is when they begin to believe her—declaring her the antichrist and the world is ending. Then, she does (as she did on All In, mentioned in last issue) becomes calm and tells them not to be so dramatic. So, Ms. TheWorldsGonnaEndIn12Years is the one who is not being dramatic. This is when her policy bomb is struck and explodes!
Page 4: (Constitution Bazooka Alternate Cover) It is revealed that The Undisputed Champion for Liberty has swooped in on his bald eagle chopper, and his sidekick in the NATO round designed sidecar, Daniel McAdams, who has just fired the Constitution Bazooka to destroy the GND policy bomb! Yes, in case you didn’t catch it, McAdams is sporting a star-spangled leather jacket with red and white tassels flapping in the wind, just in case you didn’t know how bad he is!
Page 5: (Riding on the Storm Alternate Cover) Our heroes ride into the heart of the storm to confront the tyranny! McAdams is reloaded.
Page 6: Before the heroes reach AOC, Bernie Sanders, The Undisputed Champion for Socialism (UCS), steps in front and thwarts the attack with his superhuman strength. I consulted with my family who love Bernie Sanders and follow him closely because I wanted him as somewhat of an antihero, and, therefore, be true to his personality/beliefs. The only reason I bring this up is because I don’t think they were too keen on the name (which I used in jest at first), but, despite their objections, I thought it was fitting and just worked better for the fictional story.
Page 7: The chopper crashes, The Champion for Liberty (and likely McAdams) is knocked out cold, which is probably my fault because I did not draw them wearing helmets. However, these guys are superheroes—don’t try this at home, kids! The smoke clears, and everything has quieted down. The Champion for Socialism picks up our hero by the head and then starts strangling him, occasional grunts and low-level gasps are the only thing heard in this otherwise completely silent scene: He reaches out like he’s Luke Skywalker or Thor calling for his weapon, but McAdams looks on, badly injured, and gazing in helpless disbelief of what he is seeing…
Page 8: Suddenly, McAdams sees he is atop Ron Paul’s baseball bat “The Gold Standard” and flings it with all his might as his strength dwindles. UCL catches the ball-bat and steps up to the plate!
Page 9: UCS has to release his death grip on UCL, and that’s when they notice each other. Little known fact, Bernie was a member of the FEE committee in congress together with Ron Paul helping to audit the Fed. In Dr. Paul’s End the Fed, his autobiography, he says Bernie is a good friend of his. I am kidding about it being his autobiography: It’s a book about ending The Federal Reserve’s illegal monopoly on the money, but anyone who is familiar with Ron Paul and has read the book would know it pretty much is his autobiography. He mentions their relationship frequently on the LibertyReport, and sometimes it is pleasant, sometimes it is not, but it’s mostly concerning how people should be able to come together for one main issue or goal. He states he is protecting his protégé, and so is Dr. Paul. So, they make a treaty.
Page 10: AOC remarks in an unagreeable way to Contra Krugman and they look irritated but get scared when she reminds them of her power! Woods brings up the fact that they will continue with the fear mongering despite their alleged treaty, but Dr. Paul, per usual, just reminds them that their job is to just put the ideas out in the world to promote the message of peace and prosperity.
1. It is more probable that Dr. Ron Paul favors a floating or fluctuating exchange rates to be clear, but he often mentions the superiority of the gold-based currency and the devastating effects of the Bretton-Woods Agreement’s dissolution.